Oh, Santa! Lyrics

Christmas Special:  The Toy That Saved Christmas

Narrator: "It's Christmas Eve, and Larry is anxiously awaiting the 
arrival of Santa Claus with a plate of cookies."

Larry: "Oh, Santa! I can't wait for you to come, I just can't wait for 
you to come, and I've got cookies! Three yummy cookies! Just for you for 
when you come, oh me, for you for when you come ... because it's 
Christmas!"

[Knock-knock-knock]

Larry: "Could that be Santa? Could that be him? Could it be the one who 
brings presents for a cucumber like me, a good cucumber like me?"

Narrator: "Larry is surprised to be greeted not by Santa, but crafty 
bankrobber!"

Larry: "Who are you?"

Bankrobber: "I'm a bankrobber! And I've come to rob your bank, oh yes! 
I've come to rob your bank, and I've come to take your dimes and swipe 
your nickels. So stand back, step aside you silly pickle! And let me 
in!"

Narrator: "Although frightened by the intruder, in the spirit of 
Christmas Larry makes an offering."

Larry: "I'm not a banker ... I have no bank my robbing friend, but I 
have cookies--three yummy cookies. And I don't have nickels, but please 
take this my robbing friend. Eat one of these my robbing friend. They 
are for Santa, but you may have one."

Narrator: "The bankrobber is truly touched by Larry's good will. But 
Larry, although momentarily distracted, is still excited about seeing 
Santa."

Larry: "Oh, Santa! I can't wait for you to come, I just can't wait for 
you to come, and I've got cookies! Two yummy cookies! Just for you for 
when you come, oh me, for you for when you come ... because it's 
Christmas!"

Bankrobber: (Simultaneously) "I'm a robber! I came to rob your bank, oh 
yes! I came to rob your bank ... you shared a cookie--a yummy cookie. 
Though I'd love to take your dimes, perhaps another time--because it's 
Christmas!"

[Knock, knock, knock]

Larry: "Could that be Santa? Could that be him? Could it be the one who 
brings presents for a cucumber like me, a good cucumber like me?"
Narrator: "Once again, it is not Santa who has come to Larry's door, but 
this time a savage Norseman."

Larry: "Who are you?"

Viking: "I'm a viking! And I've come to take your land, oh yes! I've 
come to take your land, and I've come to burn your crops and steal your 
horses. And I've come to ... step on your chickens! And soil your 
quilts!"

Narrator: "Although frightened by the intruder, in the spirit of 
Christmas Larry makes an offering."

Larry: "I don't have land ... I don't have crops, my viking friend, but 
I have cookies--two yummy cookies. And I don't have horses, but please 
take this my viking friend. Eat one of these my viking friend. They are 
for Santa, but you may have one."

Narrator: "The viking is also touched by Larry's good will. But Larry's 
thoughts are still with Santa."

Larry: "Oh, Santa! I can't wait for you to come, I just can't wait for 
you to come, I've got a cookie! A yummy cookie! Just for you for when 
you come, oh me, for you for when you come ... because it's Christmas!"

Viking: (Simultaneously) "I'm a viking! I came to take your land, oh 
yes! I came to take your land ... you shared a cookie--a yummy cookie. 
Though I'd love to soil your quilts, I don't think that I wilt ... 
because it's Christmas!"

[Knock-knock-knock]

Larry: "Could that be Santa? Could that be him? Could it be the one who 
brings presents for a cucumber like me, a good cucumber like me?"

Narrator: "Larry is greeted now by an agent of the Internal Revenue 
Service."

Larry: "Who are you?"

Peach: "I'm from the IRS! And I've come to tax your ..." [Slam]

Larry: "Oh, Santa! I can't wait for you to come, I just can't wait for 
you to come ... It's finally Santa! It's finally him! At last, the one 
who brings presents for a cucumber like me, a good cucumber like me!"

Santa: "I'm Santa! And I've come to bring you gifts, oh yes! I've come 
to bring you gifts, and I've come to stuff your stockings--oh ho-ho-ho! 
And I've come to jiggle my belly. And wiggle my nose ... Hey, wait a 
minute! Isn't that my belt? And what are you doing with my hat? So 
you're the ones!"

Bankrobber: "Wait a minute, I can explain!"

Viking: "We've changed!"

Santa: "Nobody messes with Santa! You know that don't you!? You've been 
very naughty! And I've got a list!"

Peach: "Did you claim that?"

Larry: "Merry ... Christmas!"